Yew Dell Botanical Gardens Wedding

Last June, amidst blooming oak-leaf hydrangeas and sprigs of verbena swaying on the breeze, Amanda (she/her) and Natalie (she/her) exchanged vows at Yew Dell Botanical Gardens. When asked about their vision, they described a wedding that was relaxed, fun, and true to who they are as a couple. When the day arrived, their celebration was full of joy, and focused on soaking up quality time with the folks who've been cheering them on throughout the years.

Amanda's creativity shines in everything she does, whether it's concocting new cookie recipes, making art projects with their children, or arranging flowers from their garden. Natalie is a self-described dabbler, with a wide range of hobbies including woodworking, gardening, DIY home projects, and delving into historical fiction. They complement each other perfectly, creating a balance that is evident in every aspect of their lives.

Their friends played an integral role in the day's festivities, from creating stunning dusty-desert inspired floral arrangements to thoughtfully officiating the intimate ceremony. It was heartwarming to witness everyone coming together to make the day even more meaningful, whether it was through lending a helping hand in setting up the venue, sharing heartfelt stories during the speeches, or simply being there to support Amanda and Natalie every step of the way.

I admire how connected Amanda and Natalie are to their community. They co-own Penny and Pearl's Bakeshop and are passionate about supporting other small businesses. Witnessing them extend that same love and support to their wedding vendors was truly inspiring.

When Amanda and Natalie initially reached out to me, they expressed their desire for a photographer who could capture their wedding day in a unique and natural way. They wanted someone who understood their vision and could document their love story with an inclusive and timeless approach. I am honored that they recognized those qualities in my work.

As the night drew to a close and most guests had departed, Amanda and Natalie realized they hadn't shared a first dance, and the sound system had already been packed away. Undeterred, we pulled up their song on a phone, and beneath the twinkling stars, they shared that memorable moment. As the music faded, their friends joined them on the dance floor, enveloping them in a massive group hug—a perfect ending to a day overflowing with support, love, and an unmistakable sense of community.

The KY Wedding Vendors who made the day magical:

• Coordinator: Brittany Chouhan

• Florals: John Lone

• Catering: Mayan Cafe

• Cake & Cookies: Penny & Pearl’s Bakeshop

• Photography: Sarah Katherine Davis

• Venue: Yew Dell Botanical Gardens 

wedding attire:

• Amanda's Top: StylishBrideAccs on Etsy

• Amanda’s skirt: WardrobeByDulcinea

• Natalie's Pants: Studio Suits

• Natalie’s Custom Bolo: mjmossdesigns on Etsy

• Amanda's Ring Designer - Honey and Goldies

To see another Queer Louisville wedding filled with joy, check out Rebecca & Charlotte’s colorful day here. Or if you want to see another Louisville wedding venue that is surrounded by nature, check out Karen & Jeremy’s Parklands wedding.

Eclectic & Colorful LGBTQ+ Wedding

Rebecca (she/her) & Charlotte (they/them) had a bold, colorful, and eclectic Queer wedding that brought all the vintage garden party vibes— along with lots of laughter and happy tears from their family and friends. I’ve shared some quotes from the couple about their favorite parts of the day, what they wore, and advice for other folks getting married throughout the post!

If you would like to celebrate some more LGBTQ+ joy, check out Jenny & Haley’s intimate wedding at Mellwood or Will & Nate’s pride month wedding at Hazelnut Farm! If you’re on the hunt for the perfect Louisville wedding venue for your wedding, you can also check out my favorite wedding venues here.

“Rebecca's dress was from Couture Closet in LaGrange, KY and by the brand White One (with alterations by Sew Creative Bridal). The dress was originally a floor-length gown, but she wanted tea-length and something more "vintage" inspired. Rebecca's shoes were an emerald green t-strap vintage-style pump for the ceremony and cocktail hour. For dancing, she changed into white low-top all-star Chucks. Rebecca wore vintage pearl earrings that belonged to her best friend's grandmother and a vintage diamond and gold bracelet that was an Asmuth family heirloom.”

“I enjoyed the first look with my dad, Terry. He is a very sentimental man, and I could tell how much joy he felt seeing me so happy.” - Rebecca

“I also loved having my dad tie my bow tie when I was getting ready. He and I have always favored bow ties for formal events and he taught me how to tie them.” - Charlotte

“Charlotte wore a custom deep purple suit and white collared shirt made by Bindle and Keep, a New York company known for their suits for queer folks. It's been Char's dream to own one of these suits. The shoes were brown monk straps, the bow tie was navy blue with paisley (a favorite tie pattern) and the socks were navy to match. They also loved their unusual pocket square of flowers, rather than a traditional boutonniere. Char kept calling it their pocket full of flowers."

The Howard Steamboat Museum is located in a mansion built in 1894! Rebecca & Char used the historic brick facade as the background of their wedding ceremony. They used the carriage house (built in 1883) for their reception dinner, the 2.5 acres of lawn and gardens for cocktail hour, and the patio outside of the carriage house as the dance floor!

“We knew that we wanted our wedding at a historic property, as Rebecca is a historian and archivist. We were also hoping to give our money to a non-profit or smaller business. We also wanted a property that had ample indoor and outdoor space. We booked the venue pre-Covid and it ended up being the perfect venue, as all of our events took place outdoors, except dinner. We loved the gorgeous brick historic mansion on the property, as well as the deep wood and brick in the carriage house.” - Charlotte & Rebecca

When asked about their favorite wedding day moments, Charlotte & Rebecca said, “Both of us agree: OUR CEREMONY! It was something we were least looking forward to, so we wanted to keep it quite short. However, it ended up being the most meaningful, memorable part of the day, I think because we wrote it ourselves with our officiant's guidance. We loved incorporating nods to queer love in our ceremony script and also personalizing our vows to each other.”

“I had the handkerchief on hand to give Rebecca when she inevitably started crying during the vows and handing that to her was symbolic of how well we know one another.”

“Our officiant was our dear friend Abby Glogower! We knew Abby had officiated a few weddings before, including some for couples she had set up (though she didn't set us up!). We wanted our ceremony to be brief so we could get to the fun part: cocktails and dancing. We also wanted a fairly untraditional ceremony. So both of our parents walked each of us down the aisle, Char's siblings stood on their side, and Rebecca's two friends stood on her side. No one wore the exact same colors, either.

We wanted to do a brief reading that spoke to queer love, so after a lot of searching, we landed on a passage from bell hooks read by our dear friend, Avi, who has the most sonorous voice. We noticed many guests tearing up and laughing during our vows, which was perfect!”

I reached out to Charlotte & Rebecca to get a copy of what their officiant Abby read for their ceremony. Theirs is one of a handful that made me get misty-eyed over the years while working — it just really hit in a genuine and intentional way that I wanted to share with you all.

“In her 2000 book, All About Love, Kentucky’s own feminist theorist bell hooks wrote, “The word ‘love’ is most often defined as a noun, yet all the more astute theorists of love acknowledge that we would all love better if we used it as a verb.” 

Like many queer couples, Charlotte and Rebecca have confessed to me that they feel some ambivalence about marriage, a traditional, heteronormative institution. [Insert Abby’s joke about feminist marriages here] Charbecca see themselves not simply participating in the institution of marriage but remaking it anew, every day in small and big acts of queer love. All of us, straight and queer, could benefit from making our marriages and partnerships a little bit queerer. Letting go of traditional gendered roles frees us to love more fully and equitably. For LGBTQ people, marriage isn’t something inevitable, and many have struggled to envision their romantic future in a world where queer couplehood is less represented. Remember, it wasn’t even legal in all 50 states until just seven years ago! Queer marriage is still a young institution that people like Charbecca get to build and remake anew. How amazing is that? Talk about action and choices! 

So we gather here today to celebrate the queer love of Charlotte and Rebecca–our love for them of course, and their love for each other. Remembering again, that love is an ongoing action, a process without end. It has been renewed every day since these two amazing people met and recognized in each other a true friend and companion, a partner for navigating life’s challenges and joys, a complement to soften rough edges and make them whole, a horizon, a vista, a home, a future. And we’re really genuinely happy to be here to celebrate this love because we recognize it as the kind of love that is loving: ongoing, something that appears totally solid, but upon closer inspection is made up of so many endless small acts.”

“I also loved the moments immediately after our ceremony where both of our families were hugging, crying, and celebrating together before we went to the cocktail hour.” - Rebecca

They went for an eclectic & colorful vintage garden party vibe with their decor. Using bold jewel-toned vintage glasses and thrifted books as their centerpieces alongside whimsical spring florals, they created a strikingly unique and personal atmosphere.

“Our cake topper is one of our favorite pieces of decor. Rebecca thrifted it and her dear friend Norman painted the hair on the bride pink to match Rebecca's. Aside from cake, we knew had to have chocolate chip cookies - our favorite dessert! We found a local baker, Flour Trail Bakery, who made all of our desserts. The cookies were miso rye chocolate chip dusted with sea salt. Guests were telling us all night that they were the best cookies they've ever eaten - and we agreed!”

Charlotte and Rebecca had so many thoughtful touches for their guests at the reception! Their sticker bar was filled with *so many* great stickers! My camera bag now has a really cute Queer rainbow sticker as well as one with a custom illustration of Rebecca & Char—which makes me happy every time I open my bag. For their seating chart, each name card had “for richer, for poorer” in script on the back of an envelope. When opened, their guests found a scratch-off ticket inside! This was such a fun idea— all of their friends and family (myself included) really enjoyed these thoughtful touches that also acted as perfect conversation starters.

“Charlotte’s sister Sophia's toast was so perfect and we love the photos of us bent over laughing during her speech.” - C&R

From a photography perspective, I loved that their more intimate guest count allowed me to really get some great candid images of their family and friends as they listened to the toasts and watched the dances!

“Ending the night with "WAP," as I had insisted our DJ do, was a highlight, too.” - Charlotte

“Our advice to other couples: Have a very official exit - we decided to forgo a traditional exit and ended up being at the venue for an hour after the wedding ended. Although we had cleaners, everyone was asking us questions and we just wanted to go to our honeymoon suite!! If you do an official exit, you can make sure you're off-site and leave the clean-up for other people. Be creative with your food choices - no one wants a dry steak anyway! We opted for a casual taco bar from Fistful of Tacos and the guests loved it! Forgo traditional wedding favors - we had a "sticker bar" loaded up with all kinds of stickers: cats, lgbtq+, sweets, books, etc. The guests loved being able to pick and choose and even wore them throughout the night.”

These Kentucky wedding vendors made the day possible:

Wedding Coordinator: Darien Dickerson-Green // Wedding DJ: HAY DJ // Florist: Pure Pollen Flowers // Caterer: Fistful of Tacos // Rebecca’s Wedding Gown: Couture Closet // Char's Wedding Suit: Bindle and Keep // Wedding Bands: Merkley Kendrick Jewelers // Engagement Ring: Boone and Sons // Dessert: Flour Trail Bakery // Hair: Fran Abney, Under the Dryer // Bartender: In the Mix // Invitations: Brouss Art // Photography: Sarah Katherine Davis Photography // Venue: Howard Steamboat Museum

How To Better Serve LGBTQ+ Couples: A Guide For Wedding Vendors

The wedding industry is getting more inclusive, but we still have a *lot* of work to do. Here’s a great starting point for wedding vendors on how to better serve LGBTQ+ couples.

Clearly say what you stand for on your website. 

• If you have space to talk about loving pizza, coffee, and houseplants you have space for an anti-discrimination statement.

• Couples should never have to email you to ask if you’re inclusive.

• If you feel hesitant to post that you are LGBTQ-friendly, you need to ask yourself why that is.

Use gender-neutral language on your website, contracts, and when working with clients.

• Not all couples have a bride. Not all brides are the ones leading wedding planning.

• Queer couples shouldn’t have to read bride & groom over and over again on your website or in your contract.

• You don’t know if there are non-binary folks on the guest list. When speaking with the wedding party call them that or say “Sarah’s side” if you need to be more specific.

• “Esteemed guests” works much better than “ladies and gentlemen” when making announcements.

Respect Pronouns.

• Include your pronouns in your bio and email signature. This is not only a way to let folks know you will respect their pronouns, but it's also a nice way of normalizing everyone sharing their pronouns. The burden shouldn’t fall on those using they/them, xe/xem, or trans folks. Pronouns shouldn’t be assumed.

• Ask couples their pronouns when they inquire with you and then always use those pronouns. This is great to include your contact form!

• Pronouns are also an indicator of what other language might work for someone. If a client is using they/them pronouns, even if they look very feminine or masculine to you, they likely won’t want other gendered language applied to them. Instead of bride or groom, you can say marrier. Instead of husband or wife, you can say, spouse or partner. This is a great habit to get into regardless of your client's gender identity!

Don’t assume things about your clients or their guests.

• Even if your couple looks straight to you—you don’t know their gender or sexual identity, nor do you know their guests’. 

• Ask your couple what they want! Queer or straight, lots of couples don’t want to participate in various traditions. Give couples the freedom to make their own choices & to make their wedding a reflection of their love.

• For photographers, don’t assume someone’s role in a relationship and then pose them that way. Pay attention to how your couple interacts with each other and use that to inform posing and prompts. 

• When discussing getting ready or fashion choices you can refer to someone’s outfit rather than “the dress” since all kinds of couples wear all kinds of different things.

• You can ask if someone will be including flowers in their look rather than assuming they will have a boutonniere or bouquet.

• When ending the ceremony, the officiant can say something like I pronounce you “legally wed” or “married” or “partners for life” instead of any gender-specific phrase.

• The officiant can also say “you may now share a kiss” or “I invite you to seal your promise with a kiss” instead of “kiss the bride.”

Advocate for LGBTQ folks outside of the wedding industry. 

• It is not enough to be “okay” with taking someone’s money.

• You should be working to improve the everyday lives of queer folks by staying informed, signing petitions, writing your representatives, and sharing content to help others get involved as well.

• If you're able, donate to organizations like the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, The Trevor Project, or locally at Louisville Youth Group.

Commit to Learning.

• Queer Kentucky has a training called "Trans Inclusivity in the Workplace" that is great info for all work environments.

• Inclusive Kentucky Weddings expands on this post in their guide for LGBTQ+ friendly wedding vendors, offers an LGBTQ+ audit for wedding professionals, and has a directory full of Queer-positive wedding vendors!

• Listen to LGBTQ+ folks when we share our experiences.

Last but definitely not least; Don’t tokenize people. 

• This would be a whole post of its own. Read “People Are Not Props/How to Avoid Tokenism in Your Portfolio” from Catalyst before working to diversify your portfolio.